Earlier today while speaking with a client, she informed that although seeking to make personal changes in her life, she feels stuck because her 23 year old son depends on her financially. She further explained that although she has provided him with potential employment opportunities, he always seems to get overlooked. She believed this to be the case as he failed to completed senoir school. As I listened to her, I can hear the frustration in her voice as she elaborated on how much he eats, drinks, watches television all day and does very little around the house.
Immediately, I asked her plans of moving past this point. In a loud voice she said, ” I’ve never even thought about it. I just know that I cannot and I will not do this anymore. It’s my turn.” There it was, a decision. As I allowed her to give me her action plan, I was quickly reminded of how we as parents put so much of our needs, wants and desires aside for our young and adult children. Does this really help them? When does one decide enough is enough?
I believe that as a parent, it is our duty to raise them to be productive citizens in society and provide them with the essentials to survive in the world (God, chores, education, faith, morals, respect, etc). However, as they become adults things may change. They start forming into individuals with their own personalities, needs, wants and desires. Some follow our blue print, while others don’t.
I recently put my life on hold for one of my children to which did not line up with any of my plans. However, throughout this process, I have learned that as parents it is our duty to hold them accountable for their actions, good, bad or indifferent. Its called love when we support them. It’s also called love when we can finally say no more and enjoy our life after raising them to become adults.
As we wrapped up our session today, my client asked that I post this topic in hopes of prompting a conversation about it.
Signed
Mom’s job done
